I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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