i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
