the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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