Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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