Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize