Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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