Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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