I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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