remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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