are you so shy because you have an std?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
