her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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