doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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