Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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