Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
