Screwed.edu
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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