Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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