The brown eye won't let me do that either.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
