therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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