True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
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You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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