dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I am available for nakedness
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
