We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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