I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize