I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
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Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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