Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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