My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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