i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize