they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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