I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
