Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
