i may or may not be watching the land before time
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
