It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I have feelings that need drinking.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
