he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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