physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
