There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
