belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
