I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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