I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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