If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
The best revenge is premature balding
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
