Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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