What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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