I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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