Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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