After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Randomize
