Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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