His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
