So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well I just put wine in my tea
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
