Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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