be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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