No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize