All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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