He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
