He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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