Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You have to summon your inner elephant
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
