who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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