he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
