Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
