You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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