I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize