Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
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Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
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Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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