Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
