I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I still have a little drunk in my system
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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