Me too!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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