Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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